A Prayer from a Burdened Heart: Creating a Racial Scar

(The following are thoughts & musings by me concerning certain current issues. I want to say from the outset that I do not support violence in any shape or form. I also want to put a disclaimer on how I have worded this post. I have had to use descriptive words for people, or groups of people, that I normally do not use. I apologize in advance if that is offensive to anyone, but I felt it necessary to do so to show differences. That being said, I pray that as you read this post, you gain some understanding & lots of Truth concerning the issues at hand.)

 

My heart has been extremely burdened as of late because of the seemingly endless chaos & divisiveness our nation has within. I’m not talking about the upcoming presidential elections (although our choices are another topic & source of grief altogether.) America has been nursing a massive wound for decades, but ever since the untimely death of Trayvon Martin in 2012, this lesion has grown considerably worse, becoming far more infected than ever. Known by many different names (bigotry, discrimination, prejudice, racism), this rip in the fabric of our county is an affront to all God created us to be. We must care enough to stand up & be willing to be the soothing balm that can bring healing to the pain.

 

I am opting to not speak in depth on the headlines as of late with the police shootings, shootings of police, & the “Black Lives Matter” movement. Although I stand behind the right to protest in civil ways, I do not agree with violence or any criminal activity. However, I am human. My heart grieves for those Mamas who have lost their sons (regardless if that son was/was not a criminal, those Mamas still lost a son & that is tragic.) I pray for the men & women that put themselves on the line daily to make sure our streets are safe (not everyone behind a badge is corrupt or racist.) I know many law enforcement professionals that exemplify dignity & honor, so please don’t lump them together with those you deem as bad apples. I  also have many friends who are black that are not representative of the hostility & crime that people think of when they think of “Black Lives Matter,” so again, don’t lump them in with ones rioting & creating havoc. People are individuals & should be considered as such, taking into account their own actions & personality, not lumped together with a specific group they seem to be a part of. This mentality & rage have cause fear on “both” sides of the fence when it comes to the cases that have gained national attention; fear that is doing nothing but creating more mayhem. I do wish to plead for you (all of you, no matter your race) to open your mind & eyes to understand & see things as someone else does for a few minutes. I’m not attempting to change your mind (although I do pray you can see Truth when it is laid before you.)

There has been so much uproar about the “Black Lives Matter” (BLM) movement. People became offended (because, are you truly American lately if you don’t get offended by something?) & answered with “All Lives Matter” (ALM.) I totally agree one-hundred percent; all lives DO matter. However, creating a “catch-all” with the ALM only covers what our black brothers & sisters are crying out for you to see & acknowledge. Racism DOES exist in our nation today. Discrimination based upon their skin color DOES happen. That’s where the changes need to take place; not attempting to cover its existence up by a “one-size-fits-all” mentality. It does matter & needs to be addressed…soon!

Let me give you a couple of analogies. Kris Straub created this cartoon to illustrate what someone who supports BLM wants you to comprehend.

 

Now, if this cartoon doesn’t help you understand, let me give you another example that I came across on Facebook the other day. Adam Campbell (I cannot seem to find his direct link to give him proper credit as it was shared many times) wrote this status to try to bring understanding to the differences in the two sides.

Hopefully these example help you see that when your friends, co-workers, neighbors support or speak of BLM, it doesn’t mean they do not think that all other lives do not; they are trying to attract attention to an out-of-control issue that needs our responsiveness, not denial that there is a problem.

 

Denying its existence will not make racism go away. Not educating yourself on a side that differs from your own opinion does not mean that the other side doesn’t have a valid point or is not correct in their beliefs; it just makes you uneducated (this is not the same as stupid.) Get educated about the issues that create such concern for our black brothers & sisters. All you need do is to talk to someone of color & walk in his/her shoes for a few minutes to see how real racism is. Let me give you a few instances & examples of racism & discrimination today.

A sweet friend’s mother is biracial, conceived during an affair between her black grandmother & her white grandfather. He is a well-known man in the small town they are from, so of course, this affair, & resulting child, was kept secret, not because he was ashamed of his infidelity, but because his lover (& now his child) was black. He was ashamed of his own flesh & blood because of the color of her skin! He didn’t care about skin color when he was committing adultery with his child’s mother, but oh, what a scandal if the white elitists he associated with knew he had an affair & fathered a child with a black woman! This woman is now 58 & she has never had a relationship with her father. During her childhood, he would send random checks to help financially, but never emotionally invested in her life. All because of the color of her skin!

Although most of this post refers to issues the black community faces every day, racism itself is not discriminatory. It encompasses any race that doesn’t fit the norm (i.e. the white race.) A friend shared this picture of a sign that is posted on a fence surrounding a practice field at a local school (I have opted to alter the image so as to not call attention to school in my post.)

 

 

For those that cannot read Spanish, the sign (more or less) reads, “It is prohibited to play soccer in this field by the authority of the athletic department of [school name].” I completely understand that the school may well be within its right to post a sign prohibiting any activity they so choose on their practice field, but why is there no sign in English to be found? Are only those who speak Spanish (which, obviously, is intended for our Hispanic population) prohibited from playing soccer on the field? What about those Hispanics who don’t speak or read Spanish? Can they still play on the field? What if some white people (&, gasp, even some black people) are already playing soccer on the field? Can our Spanish-speaking population join in, or are they subjected to stand on the sidelines, gazing longingly, wishing upon wishes that they couldn’t read Spanish so they, too, could partake in the jolly fun? Ok, I was obviously getting facetious, but the fact remains this very discriminatory sign does exist TODAY & that fact alone isn’t a laughing matter.

 

Let’s get personal because, let’s face it: it’s all about “me” & if “I” can’t connect the dots to find out how something affects “me”, then it doesn’t matter (just to clarify, those me’s & I’s are collective.) When my granddaughter, Kaylee, was a couple of months old, her Mama (Alyssa) & I were shopping for groceries in our local Publix. Kaylee (for those of you who don’t know, my granddaughter is biracial - black father & white mother) was in her stroller with the shade pulled down half-way because she was napping. As we were rounding the end of an aisle, an older, white man came around from the other side. He got the biggest grin when he noticed the stroller, craning his neck to peek around the shade at the baby inside (because who doesn’t love to look at an adorable baby?) You could see his wide, open-mouthed grin turn into a scowl of disgust when he caught sight of Kaylee, the “black” baby (because, let’s be honest, any biracial child/person who is mixed with black is classified as such, as if any other ethnicity has been erased by the stigma that is being “part-black”.) I was embarrassed for him as he glanced at Alyssa & I, then walked the other way because, come on, she is a BABY, no matter the color of her skin. (Sadly, her skin color was an issue with so many people when she was first born because of the erroneous belief that races should not inter-date & the dislike of the black race.)

I have attempted to bring some humor to some issues that are anything but that. However, this is a very serious issue for our fellow human beings who are black. In my prayers & ponderings about this issue as of late, I reached out to my dear friend, who is black (although she classifies herself as mocha or pecan-tan) desperate to find what she saw as answers to this problem. I wanted to know what her fears were for her, her husband, & her 2 boys (such sweet, beautiful souls!) What she said breaks my heart & I know it is resonated throughout the hearts of many a black wife or Mama. To hear her voice her concerns of someone hurting her husband or children just because of the color of their skin created such a want to gather them all under a protective shield that, let’s face it, I am given because of the color of my skin. We talked about that “unspoken” shield, more commonly known as “White Privilege.” White privilege is not something that every white person does or contributes to, but “is a transparent preference for whiteness that saturates our society...white privilege shapes the world in which we live - the way that we navigate and interact with one another and with the world." While white privilege has been contributed to some recent criminal cases (such as in the rape case of Brock Turner), it's  not always so blatant. White privilege can also be seen in some "hidden" ways.

 

Let me describe a few of those areas that you may not have ever thought about (because, admittedly, I had not.) There was a discussion I participated in the other day that shed light on one particular way, which got me to thinking about other ways this could be depicted. For example, when a white person cuts himself, he grabs a bandage & doesn't worry about it clashing with his skin. Why? Because bandages are created with the flesh-tone of a white person (or at least a peach-toned person.) However, when a black person (or darker skin-toned person) has a cut, they have to bear a bandage that is highly noticeable on their skin. [On a side note, a friend shared a link to this amazing company that makes darker skin-toned bandages! On their Facebook page, you can find other businesses that sell products to match all skin-tones. Let's support these innovative entrepreneurs by purchasing & sharing their awesome products.]

 

On a personal note (you know, because it's all about me), I recalled a time when my son (Chase) was about 4 or so. It was Halloween night & we had just finished trick-or-treating at our local mall when we decided to stop in at McDonalds to grab some dinner. We sat at a table behind a black man & his son. I remember Chase looking at this little boy behind us, who was looking back at my son from behind his Batman mask, & asking me why his hands were a different color from his face (the mask.) I never realized the depth behind that innocent question from a child until now. This little black boy wanted to be his favorite super hero, but didn't have a mask that matched his skin. You may say something along the lines that no black person played Batman, so why have a black mask. That, in itself, is another display of white privilege...Hollywood depicting all the "heroes" as white or costume makers only making costumes from heroes with white skin-tones.

 

In another instance, my husband (Bryan) & I went shopping & were looking for some pajamas for our granddaughter. I was so tickled when I came across some that depicted a little princess that wasn't white, but was "brown" like our girl. The second pair of pajamas has a few different princesses that each had different, darker skin-tones. Until I saw those pajamas, I never thought about the fact that the majority of princesses were white (thankfully, that is being changed lately.) Not having pajamas, clothes, or toys that depict a little girl with similar skin tones is not an issues for Kaylee right now, but to some other little girl with darker skin tone who is old enough to recognize the difference, it could be an issue attempting to find a princess they can relate to.  Not all princesses are white!

 

 

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to give examples & explanations to help you see why the black community is crying out for us to acknowledge their concerns. It’s not because they have a sore spot because “our” ancestors owned “their” ancestors many decades ago; it’s because of issues today. Issues that are very real, every day of their life. This is not a plea for understanding anyone who is breaking the law or committing crimes in the name of racism. This is plea to attempt to understand our co-workers, our church members, our beloved friends who are black. Not all black people are throwing a gas-filled bottle at a police car or are looting a store because they are angry; most are sitting beside us in the pew at church, working with us every day, walking beside us as we all navigate our way through this life.

I would be remiss if I didn’t take the time to petition a little for the “other side” (the white perspective.) Seek to understand, & help change, the engrained mentality that, unfortunately, has been passed down from generation to generation. This is not to ask for to you to excuse those who are blatant in their racism. Keep in mind that understanding does not equal permitting or accepting. It’s taking the time to learn the heart behind the other person & the “why’s” of someone’s actions.

Music moves me & I truly believe it is a powerful aid to healing. I love this song, written & performed by a Christian rapper, Trip Lee: “Coulda Been Me.” My favorite lyrics from the song align with what & why I have been pleading with you. Please take a moment to click on the link above & watch the lyric video.

 

I’ve taken a lot of time to try to illustrate, as best as a white person can, what I feel may be some heart cries from our black neighbors. To try to shed some light on some issues so we, as a country, as people, can begin to heal from the wound that racism creates. The only way we can truly heal, the only One that can heal us, is God. His Word speaks life into this issue, so I wanted to take some time to bring some of that life to you (in the best way that a non-theologian can do.) A wise Sunday School teacher once said, “You can’t expect lost people to act as anything but lost people.” I know that there are some people reading this that may not have received salvation through Christ Jesus; however, God’s Word does not return void & It will accomplish what He desires & achieve the purpose for which He sent It (Isaiah 55:11.)

A word of caution: stop listening to the media! Although a lot of the issues as of late have brought back to light the core problems that need to be resolved, so many things are pushed forth with no regard for the truth. The media has an ulterior motive: to make money based upon the garbage they create. And what creates more money than hot-button issues & deep-seated hurts such as racism. Anything that can be put out to gain more followers, likes, shares, views, etc is fair game. God lists seven things that are detestable to Him (Proverbs 6:16-19) & guess what? Someone who lies & someone who stirs up conflict in the community are two of them! Don’t contribute to the spreading of false reports or hate. Research what you post (by the way, research is more than just reading the article & agreeing with what it says.) Paul urged his brothers & sisters in Christ to steer clear of those who cause divisions & put obstacles in their way that was contrary to their teaching, explaining that such people are only serving their own selfish appetites & not Christ (Romans 16:17-18.) I have seen many Christians share some very hateful & shocking things on social media. Please think about what you are doing or saying while professing to be a Christian; others, especially non-believers, are basing their opinions of Him on your actions as a professing Christian. God’s Word says we are to be quick to listen, slow to speak, & slow to get angry because our anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires in us (James 1:19.) Make sure something is true before you post or speak on it & search your heart for the real reason you are posting (is it just to take a stab or is it something that could promote real change?)

So much of racism is fueled by the thought that one particular race is superior to another. However, God created us ALL in His own image (Genesis 1:26-27) & all races come from Him (Acts 17:26.) He shows no partiality (Romans 2:11) & does not make distinctions of physical or social status (1 Sam 16:7.) If our goal on this earth is to be more like Christ, then why wouldn’t we do the same as He? Our fellow human beings are not any less than (nor you better than) because they have a different skin tone from you. God makes a point to tell us in His Word that to show partiality (i.e. prejudice, favoritism), is to sin (James 2:9.) If you hate someone because of the difference in their color of skin, God says you are walking around in darkness (1 John 2:11.) If you claim to love God, but hate your brother or sister, His Word says you are a liar because you cannot love God, who you haven’t seen, if you can hate your brother or sister, who you have seen (1 John 4:20.) In fact, God’s Word says that hating someone is the same as murder (1 John 3:15.) To hold onto some notion that someone is lesser than because of their skin color & yet, claim to be a Christian does not align Biblically. Jesus Christ came for us ALL (John 3:16) & we will be worshipping with people from every nation, tribe, & tongue when we enter Heaven (Revelation 7:9.)

Now, I want to get personal. Even though our God’s Holy Word is full of Scriptures that expound upon the sin of racism, there will be someone, even a fellow Christian that will discriminate against the color of your skin (white or black.) They may lump you with everyone else that has the same shade of skin that you do. They will say & do hateful & hurtful things (there may even be someone who unintentionally does this.) If you are a Christian, God calls you to forgive. I truly believe this is where our healing begins. We are not told to forgive “except when” or “only this time.” If you expect God to forgive you of your sins, you must forgive your brother (Matthew 6:14-15.) This doesn’t mean “except when this sin affects me this way”, it means ALL transgressions, no matter what. He tells us to forgive always, no matter how many times you are sinned against (Matthew 18:21-22.) How are we to do this? Just as Christ forgave you (Colossians 3:13.)

Forgiving someone is not easy, especially when there are deep hurts, but it’s a command from our Creator. So many times, we are prideful & refuse to do what we must do because we feel that the other person deserves some sort of punishment or you deserve some retribution & you feel forgiving them will let them off the hook. Forgiveness is not about letting someone off the hook for their actions. “The decision to forgive an offender is probably the hardest choice we can ever make. Some crimes seem too horrible to forgive. Our instincts tell us to avenge the person who caused us pain, not to release him from the debt he owes us. But as Christians, we can't afford to have unforgiving hearts, for we have been greatly forgiven by God in Christ (Ephesians4:32). Only forgiveness can release us from a life of hatred and bitterness." Forgiving is a journey, sometimes a long one," wrote Lewis B. Smedes in Shame and Grace. "We may need some time before we get to the station of complete healing, but the nice thing is that we are being healed en route. When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover the prisoner we set free was us." Forgiveness releases you from the burden of bitterness, hate, & strife that do nothing but keep this would open & festering. It allows restoration in a person's soul (the forgiven, as well as the forgiver) that leads him to his Maker.

Even though so much chaos & confusion has surrounded us lately, we don’t have to succumb to it. Scripture tells us that hate stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs (Proverbs 10:12.) I believe the most important ingredient in our healing balm must be love; love as Christ loved. The “Golden Rule” is such a familiar philosophy, but did you know that principle is actually Biblical? God’s Word tells us do to others what you would have them do to you (Matthew 7:12.) The Bible also tells us that we should value others above our selves (Philippians 2:3-4) & to love our neighbors as our self (James 2:8.) Why would the Bible tell us to do these things “as our self” or “above our self”? Because we are selfish beings & would do anything to make ourselves happy. However, as much as we love ourselves, we are to love others more than that. Can you imagine what our world would be like if we loved & thought of others as Christ calls us to?! (By the way, our “neighbors” doesn’t just include the person next door to you or people that are like you; it includes everyone.)

Scripture tells us the Pharisees wanted to test Jesus, so they asked Him what the greatest commandment was. He replied to them, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37.) But He didn’t stop there! He added the second greatest commandment, which is love your neighbors as yourself (Matthew 22:39.) Then he makes the statement, “All the Law & the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:40.) What does He mean, “hang on”? I believe it means that it doesn’t matter what else you do, if you don’t love the Lord with everything you have or you don’t love others more than yourself, nothing else matters. Anything else you do, anything else you attempt, trying to heal this wound will fail. You must love others as He loved, without partiality & without prejudice, because He made us all & died for us all.

Even if you are a non-believer, you still fall under the authority of Scripture as every person was created by Him, for His glory. I pray that you have read the Scriptures notated within here & that the seed that has been planted by them will burst forth with much fruit (as mentioned earlier, His Word promises to never return void (Isaiah 55:11) & I know He will work tremendously through the reading of His Word.) Ask questions of your fellow man. Listen intently with the purposes of understanding, not with a guarded, closed mind. Be slow to anger about stuff you see in the media or from others. Forgive someone who has hurt you. Forgive them when they do it again. And above all, love like there is no tomorrow! We must all do our part to heal this wound. It’s a huge one & will not leave us without a scar. But oh, how I pray for that scar! That sweet scar, although a reminder of past hurt, will mean the pain of racism is behind us & the wound is now closed! Dear God, please heal our wound & grant us our scar!